Two weeks ago I didn't even have a blog.  One week ago I didn't have plans to travel anywhere anytime soon.   How did change happen so quickly that I am sitting under my own private, dreamy palapa in Mexico today, at this "home away from home," surrounded by lush tropical greenery, warm breezes and butterflies, and writing a blog post?

That's the speed of aligned (and magical-feeling) change I'm experiencing on so many levels.  Everything came into energetic alignment for us to say yes to this spontaneous trip, and even with only giving ourselves 48 hours' notice to pack and prepare, it has been one glorious and magical week here of dreams coming true.

I have so much to share about all that has happened that will have to span many other posts, but for now I offer a self-inquiry to sit with that has served me really, really beautifully before and during this trip: 

Do you give yourself FREEDOM to change?

“Giving yourself freedom to change” carries a different energy than just “embracing change.”  It may offer a more effective angle when you’re digging deep in your inner world, and may help expose more old feelings, thoughts and behaviors that no longer serve and are ready to be released.

That's what it's been doing for me, serving as a strong theme and guide right now, offering healing support, magical moments and greater stability as I step into new ways of being and doing (in more ways than I can count at this point).  

Identity shifts, career shifts, location shifts, perspective shifts, relationship shifts.  Changing of well laid-out plans and changing of old, familiar structures.  Short-term pivots.  Long-term pivots.  So.much.change. 

(As a fabulous synchronicity, my most recent oracle card message was, “FREEDOM:  You always have a choice,” offering a reminder that we do not need to remain trapped as victims of our conditioning.)

Change is always happening, as we all know.  It can feel totally liberating sometimes, but also can leave us with a sickening sense of inner and outer instability, and freak out our nervous systems.  Because of that we often go into an overly self-protective mode and don’t give ourselves the FREEDOM to change.

This is some of what I’ve noticed bubbling up in myself this week.  Even in this paradise that I’m thrilled to be in, I’ve noticed all kinds of feelings and thoughts floating around in my body that seem rooted in shame, fear or guilt of some kind when it comes to change… like parts of me are not LETTING myself be ok with the idea of it, even though parts of me really DO actually want it.

I’ve been feeling an urge to change my mind, approach and structures about something I started that now feels a little out of alignment, and I noticed feelings of shame and self-criticism starting to rise, with stories about “not following through” and fears of judgment about that from others, who may or may not think or say that I’m “flaky” or “unreliable.”

And while there are scenarios in which changes CAN be a bit damaging to ourselves and our relationships in those ways, ultimately it’s still up to us to give or deny ourselves that FREEDOM to change, right?

What I DO know is that fear of judgment and shame are not the places FROM WHICH I want to be making choices about my life.   So, as always, I give myself the time and space to go deep within, explore, listen and work through these murky, uncomfortable things with love and compassion.

I emerge, as always, feeling FREE and EMPOWERED to make an aligned decision and take my next step.  Ignoring this call to realign would have been ignoring the need to respond to the ever- changing conditions inside and outside of me. 

Walking a straight and narrow path of alignment from “here” to “there” is what my mind sometimes imagines it’s supposed to guide me to do, but it’s in the deeper, constant checking-in with myself that allows the most aligned and magical path to present itself one step at a time. 

Each time I go within I find that I am in both the journey and the destination.  THAT is my true “arrival” in every moment and the solid ground available to me with every step forward into the unknown.

I may disappoint and be judged by some when I change my plans, but I am willing to live with that, especially when I know that I’m operating from a loving, more healed version of myself. I can not, and am not meant to, please everyone.  My job is to honor and BE my Higher Self, and to serve the highest good of all.  

Giving myself freedom to make an aligned change honors BOTH of those things.

This is also the kind of grace I want to extend to others.  I don’t really want to BE someone who judges or shames others for changing their minds and plans when their deep inner knowing guides them to do so.  

It’s also valuable for myself and others to know that some of us truly are not wired to stick with certain ideas or activities for a long time, and contrary to cultural conditioning, it isn’t a weakness or flaw.

(By the way, if you’re not tuned into astrology, you may not know that a need for frequent change is strong Gemini energy, and if you have a lot of that quality making up your natal chart, as I do, forcing yourself to ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH NO MATTER WHAT OR SHAMING YOURSELF IF YOU DON'T is actually stifling and dishonoring your unique and beautiful nature.  I feel there's always room for growth and sweet spots to be found on a spectrum between always leaving things incomplete and always following through to completion, but it’s my hope that we can take away harmful feelings of shame or pressure around it that we place on ourselves or others.) 

So, if you've been experiencing some of this too, ask yourself if you’re MAKING yourself follow through from a place of conditioning that says you HAVE to, or if you’re willing to give yourself FREEDOM to change.

The Universe sent more affirmations to me under the palapa as I sat with this question and theme of “giving myself freedom to change."  I looked at the colorful butterflies yesterday fluttering so freely in  the tropical greenery all around and wondered, “Does the caterpillar KNOW from the beginning that it can and is going to become a butterfly?”

I googled it and found a variety of discussions, from a drop in their juvenile hormones that cue them to start building a chrysalis, to cues from changing environmental conditions, to an instinctive “knowing” that has been passed down through the ancestors and is encoded in their DNA.

Whatever the trigger for transformation is, they DO appear to give themselves the FREEDOM to change!  They DO go within to honor the fullest expression of themselves already encoded within.  They DO allow what they already are to restructure and come into a new, still wildly pure... and FREE... form.  

As we know, this example of self-actualization is one of the most spectacular examples in nature.  This is what I call "liberated living" and is what is at the core of all that I do in service to humanity.

Given all of that, how beautifully perfect is THIS timing?... I came out to my magical Mexican palapa early this morning in the dark to watch the moon set, and I saw some kind of creature appear a few feet away from me on the patio.  It was so dark I couldn’t tell at first and suspected it was a big frog or a lizard, but as the light grew brighter, I could see that it was a huge, absolutely gorgeous butterfly!  (None had actually LANDED on the patio all week until now.)

It sat still, gently opening and closing its spectacular wings, turning around and around to show me all of its beautiful sides.  It let me get within inches of it and we sat together under the palapa for almost AN HOUR.  

I finally had to go inside to use the bathroom, but when I came back just a few minutes later, it was gone. 

A truly special morning communing with nature. 

So, as we approach this week’s Virgo full moon with its supportive qualities to release and heal, and this magical, butterfly encounter under this palapa, I feel deeply supported by the Universe in letting go of residual shame and fear, and in giving myself the FREEDOM to change in all the ways I feel called.  

And I want to invite you to check in with yourself and hear from your depths if you need to do any of the same.

And although we were alone together, I know that that butterfly didn’t come here with her message just for me.  She wanted me to share it with you, too.  So, thank you, Universe, for giving me all that I needed to write blog post #2, and giving me a way to share and liberate some of the natural beauty within and around us all.

May we support ourselves and one another to fully express the beautiful truth of who we are.

Love, Sara

(P. S.  More magical moments from the palapa:  A friendly woman appeared on my totally private patio yesterday completely out of nowhere and handed me that massive, gorgeous, red flower, said, "Es muy bonita," and walked away!  Heliconia flowers represent FREEDOM, ADAPTABILITY & CHANGE.)